The Paradox of Growth | NLP Blog from Transform Destiny
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The Paradox of Growth

Saturday, October 30th, 2010 : Read 266 Times

If you change nothing, nothing will change.“Growth,” is commonly thought to be the integration of lessons learned.

That is sometimes the case, but growth like that is often reactionary. We only grow to meet the environment around us.

True growth – personal growth on an exponential level – often only happens when we UNlearn.

Think back to when you were a child of, perhaps, five or six, or maybe ten or twelve years old...

There were many lessons to learn:

  • Don’t talk to strangers.
  • Get down off of there, you’ll hurt yourself.
  • Don’t put that in your mouth.
  • "We" don’t do that.
  • Don’t talk back.
  • Stop being so childish.

Those may have been valuable lessons for a child. The problem is, most people turn them into “life” lesson.

Milton H. Erickson said that most adults’ problems stem from rules that they learned between birth and seven years old that the person has never consciously challenged.

These rules, later, become destructive in adulthood:

  • Don’t talk to strangers = It’s not ok to trust people.
  • Get down off of there = It’s wrong take risks.
  • Don’t put that in your mouth = It’s not ok to experiment.
  • "We" don’t do that = People are either “good” or “bad,” “us” and “them.”
  • Don’t talk back = Avoid being an individual, or an innovator. Just do as you’re told.
  • Stop being so childish = It’s not ok to have emotions. Don’t use your imagination.
Think about all those things you learned as a child. How many of them no longer serve you now?
 
To truly grow now, you need to UNlearn some things you learned then. That’s REAL personal growth.
 

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