How to Use NLP to Make People Listen to You | NLP Blog from Transform Destiny
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How to Use NLP to Make People Listen to You

Friday, September 12th, 2008 : Read 357 Times

People always ask me, “Hey, Michael, you’re a master hypnotist. Do you know a way that I can be hypnotic so people listen to everything I say carefully?”

Of course I do!

I remember when I was in NLP Trainer’s Training. We covered nested loops quite a bit. It was amazing. I know you’ve been in a situation where everything that’s said is of the utmost importance, and you focus your attention on just one thing. Me, I know this stuff is riveting. And, as we continued sitting in our chairs, wondering about nested loops, soaking all this up, the most amazing thing happened...

It kind of reminds me of the time, when I was a kid... you can remember that, can’t you? Having those childhood memories... thoughts, emotions, curiosities. Everybody can... I always liked being outside, but this time I decided to just go inside. I came across the most amazing thing in the basement. I’m not suggesting that you have to go all the way down in the basement to find the amazing things, inside... but sometimes it’s fun.

Like, the learnings that they get when they go into the pyramids. They see all kinds of things that are so much better, so much more interesting, inside. The jewels and other treasures are calling out, saying, “Come in, deeper, and find out the wonders we have embedded within us.”

I found a fly embedded in something once... what was that called? Oh, yes. Amber. The fly was embedded in amber. It must have been there for... how many years? Probably. And, do you know what the fly said to me?

Nested loops (also called embedded metaphors) are a simple way of putting the folks you’re communicating with into a nice light trance, such that your message is better accepted by the unconscious mind, rather than being analyzed, criticized and possibly rejected by the conscious mind, by opening loops (incomplete stories) and then not finishing them until you have delivered your message.

If this subject really intrigues you, you’ll want to take one of our NLP trainings. You could also look into our Free NLP Guide for Milton Erickson patterns. There are many writings about his use of loops, both in print and on the internet.

You can also look into the Zeigarnik affect. Bluma Zeigarnik was a psychologist from Russia who discovered that when things are left incomplete, people will remain interested in what you say until those things left incomplete are completed. This is why headlines work so well which read, “Would you like to know the three words I can use to make anyone give me their money? I’ll share them with you in a moment, but first I want to talk to you about...”

Nothing. The fly said nothing. It had been dead for quite some time. But I did learn that sometimes the most profound learnings can come when very little is actually said.

Like the explorers. They enter the pyramids, not sure exactly what they’ll find. And what is it that they find? Yes, there are treasures and mummies and such, but what really interests some people are the symbols. Symbols everywhere. And as they continued to look into how they’re made, something that seemed so complex at first, turns out to be really very simple instead.

Simple things are sometimes just what the doctor ordered... In some specific order or another. See, in my basement, I found “myself.” Well, I found a diary that I had written years before and maybe forgotten about, until now. And in that diary, I told story after story after story . I would often start stories, only to finish them later, after I had said what I wanted... and I found a very special message to myself, right on the middle page, in the center of them all.

And, as I watched the NLP trainer on the stage, teaching us about metaphors and nested loops, I was amazed to find out that he was using nested loops to teach them to us! It’s an experience I will never forget and one you should experience, too.

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